I don’t know a thing about you, but I’m sure that there must be a few people around you that you know who start trembling at the very thought of being alone. The reason is that they consider it similar to being lonely, feeling abandoned, unloved and rejected by the world.
For me, it is quite difficult to explain that being alone is not necessarily being lonely. In fact, it’s a blessing. I love my privacy as much as I love the company of few good people in my life. Some people don’t believe me when I tell them that I generally go for shopping alone; love to watch my favourite movie alone, and often enjoy a great meal and a drink alone; in solitude, not wanting anyone’s presence. Doing this, I just don’t consider myself unlovable or abandoned by the world because I enjoy my time spent in the company of the person that I’m closest to; ME .
If you are like me, you would know that even when we are alone and single, we do enjoy our solitary pursuits without feeling guilty, sad, and tearful. Well, this is not to say that I never feel lonely. I certainly do and I've learnt what I can do to get over it. The more we depend on external supports to pull us out of the despair of loneliness, the deeper we get in it. I have somehow become skilled at balancing the good part and the not-so-good part of being on my own.
You’ve probably heard it a hundred times that by being in a solitary state, we are able to regain our scattered energies. When we withdraw ourselves from worldly objects, we get in touch with our inner selves, we become centered and in a position to face ourselves. There is no external support available. This is when we must take the opportunity to learn to trust our instincts, discover the reflective peace in our heart and tune in to our innermost feelings.
I believe that loneliness does not transpire due to separation from others. It arises when we are isolated from ourselves. When feeling lonely, our mind is jam-packed with inner dialogue, recollections of the past and worries about the future. This unclear and disconnected life that we live is what makes us feel lost and alone, thus preventing us from living in the present moment.
Let’s face it. You and me, like every other person on this planet get into slumps or experience bumps in life's road and at times, need a boost. It’s easy provided you acknowledge the fact that it’s up to you and me to bring the feel-good-factor to pep up our lives. Nobody else will do it for us. Even on a bad day, I keep hoping that things will get better and if they don’t, on their own, I intervene.
I’ll tell you some rituals that I perform and stay away from the not-so-good-feelings that bog down many of us in a similar fashion. You too can try these and stay motivated.
1.Stick to your normal healthy routine: Eat a good breakfast. If you didn’t, have a healthy lunch. Pick one fruit of your choice and munch it on your way back home. Exercise for about 30 minutes every day depending on when you find the time; morning or evening.
2. Listen to something inspirational and/or healing (my favorite): Load your iPod with a play list for your choice. Enjoy your favorite music while cooking, stair climbing, or doing routine household chores. One of my favorite ways to start the day is by cranking some tunes and dancing while brushing my teeth.
3. Smile is contagious and it costs nothing: Make a deliberate effort to smile at people. They will smile back and you’ll feel good too. Observe things that make you smile and keep them in the corner of your head. They’ll make you smile when you sit in contemplation.
4. Feel good about yourself; always and all ways: Do you believe in Law of Attraction? It says that you attract into your life whatever you think about. So the idea is to feel and hope for everything good. If you stay motivated and positive by thinking about good things, you’ll get them.
5. Hang around with cheerful people: Friends or colleagues who belittle you in the disguise of “joking around,” make you feel terrible. Avoid them. Make friends with those whose positive energy makes you feel good. Go for a movie or have coffee with someone who cares for you treats you with love and respect.
6. You are inimitable: Don’t get into the petty habit of comparing yourself with others. When I do that, I feel bad and feel like a failure. Instead, I’ve started believing that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be and that I’ll get where I want to, at the right time, under the right circumstances, and with the right people. This is what keeps me going.
7. Look good to feel good: This is probably the least talked about but awfully effective. Invest in nice, bright colored clothes. Dress in cheerful dresses and pretty shoes. And wear a stunning smile. It’ll get you noticed (in a good way of course!). People will like to speak to you. They’ll listen to what you have to say. When you step into a room, you won’t have to say or do anything to get people’s attention. Your positive vibes will do that for you.
So what are you waiting for? Quickly think about some not so good episodes of your daily life and swap them immediately with activities that add positivity, fun, and newness into your life. Get going NOW.
I don’t know a thing about you, but I’m sure that there must be a few people around you that you know who start trembling at the very thought of being alone. The reason is that they consider it similar to being lonely, feeling abandoned, unloved and rejected by the world.
