Alone but not Lonely

I don’t know a thing about you, but I’m sure that there must be a few people around you that you know who start trembling at the very thought of being alone. The reason is that they consider it similar to being lonely, feeling abandoned, unloved and rejected by the world.

For me, it is quite difficult to explain that being alone is not necessarily being lonely. In fact, it’s a blessing. I love my privacy as much as I love the company of few good people in my life. Some people don’t believe me when I tell them that I generally go for shopping alone; love to watch my favourite movie alone, and often enjoy a great meal and a drink alone; in solitude, not wanting anyone’s presence. Doing this, I just don’t consider myself unlovable or abandoned by the world because I enjoy my time spent in the company of the person that I’m closest to; ME .

If you are like me, you would know that even when we are alone and single, we do enjoy our solitary pursuits without feeling guilty, sad, and tearful. Well, this is not to say that I never feel lonely. I certainly do and I've learnt what I can do to get over it. The more we depend on external supports to pull us out of the despair of loneliness, the deeper we get in it. I have somehow become skilled at balancing the good part and the not-so-good part of being on my own.

You’ve probably heard it a hundred times that by being in a solitary state, we are able to regain our scattered energies. When we withdraw ourselves from worldly objects, we get in touch with our inner selves, we become centered and in a position to face ourselves. There is no external support available. This is when we must take the opportunity to learn to trust our instincts, discover the reflective peace in our heart and tune in to our innermost feelings.

I believe that loneliness does not transpire due to separation from others. It arises when we are isolated from ourselves. When feeling lonely, our mind is jam-packed with inner dialogue, recollections of the past and worries about the future. This unclear and disconnected life that we live is what makes us feel lost and alone, thus preventing us from living in the present moment.