Alone but not Lonely

I don’t know a thing about you, but I’m sure that there must be a few people around you that you know who start trembling at the very thought of being alone. The reason is that they consider it similar to being lonely, feeling abandoned, unloved and rejected by the world.

For me, it is quite difficult to explain that being alone is not necessarily being lonely. In fact, it’s a blessing. I love my privacy as much as I love the company of few good people in my life. Some people don’t believe me when I tell them that I generally go for shopping alone; love to watch my favourite movie alone, and often enjoy a great meal and a drink alone; in solitude, not wanting anyone’s presence. Doing this, I just don’t consider myself unlovable or abandoned by the world because I enjoy my time spent in the company of the person that I’m closest to; ME .

If you are like me, you would know that even when we are alone and single, we do enjoy our solitary pursuits without feeling guilty, sad, and tearful. Well, this is not to say that I never feel lonely. I certainly do and I've learnt what I can do to get over it. The more we depend on external supports to pull us out of the despair of loneliness, the deeper we get in it. I have somehow become skilled at balancing the good part and the not-so-good part of being on my own.

You’ve probably heard it a hundred times that by being in a solitary state, we are able to regain our scattered energies. When we withdraw ourselves from worldly objects, we get in touch with our inner selves, we become centered and in a position to face ourselves. There is no external support available. This is when we must take the opportunity to learn to trust our instincts, discover the reflective peace in our heart and tune in to our innermost feelings.

I believe that loneliness does not transpire due to separation from others. It arises when we are isolated from ourselves. When feeling lonely, our mind is jam-packed with inner dialogue, recollections of the past and worries about the future. This unclear and disconnected life that we live is what makes us feel lost and alone, thus preventing us from living in the present moment.

Become The Best You've Ever Been

Let’s face it. You and me, like every other person on this planet get into slumps or experience bumps in life's road and at times, need a boost. It’s easy provided you acknowledge the fact that it’s up to you and me to bring the feel-good-factor to pep up our lives. Nobody else will do it for us. Even on a bad day, I keep hoping that things will get better and if they don’t, on their own, I intervene.

I’ll tell you some rituals that I perform and stay away from the not-so-good-feelings that bog down many of us in a similar fashion. You too can try these and stay motivated.

1.Stick to your normal healthy routine: Eat a good breakfast. If you didn’t, have a healthy lunch. Pick one fruit of your choice and munch it on your way back home. Exercise for about 30 minutes every day depending on when you find the time; morning or evening.

2. Listen to something inspirational and/or healing (my favorite): Load your iPod with a play list for your choice. Enjoy your favorite music while cooking, stair climbing, or doing routine household chores. One of my favorite ways to start the day is by cranking some tunes and dancing while brushing my teeth.

3. Smile is contagious and it costs nothing: Make a deliberate effort to smile at people. They will smile back and you’ll feel good too. Observe things that make you smile and keep them in the corner of your head. They’ll make you smile when you sit in contemplation.

4. Feel good about yourself; always and all ways: Do you believe in Law of Attraction? It says that you attract into your life whatever you think about. So the idea is to feel and hope for everything good. If you stay motivated and positive by thinking about good things, you’ll get them.

5. Hang around with cheerful people: Friends or colleagues who belittle you in the disguise of “joking around,” make you feel terrible. Avoid them. Make friends with those whose positive energy makes you feel good. Go for a movie or have coffee with someone who cares for you treats you with love and respect.

6. You are inimitable: Don’t get into the petty habit of comparing yourself with others. When I do that, I feel bad and feel like a failure. Instead, I’ve started believing that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be and that I’ll get where I want to, at the right time, under the right circumstances, and with the right people. This is what keeps me going.

7. Look good to feel good: This is probably the least talked about but awfully effective. Invest in nice, bright colored clothes. Dress in cheerful dresses and pretty shoes. And wear a stunning smile. It’ll get you noticed (in a good way of course!). People will like to speak to you. They’ll listen to what you have to say. When you step into a room, you won’t have to say or do anything to get people’s attention. Your positive vibes will do that for you.

So what are you waiting for? Quickly think about some not so good episodes of your daily life and swap them immediately with activities that add positivity, fun, and newness into your life. Get going NOW.

Plan Your Life...Huh!

Everybody keeps lecturing on planning but when it comes to it, almost everyone fails. Ironic but true! Before you sneer over and give me a dirty look on another attempt at preaching, hold on. The following is a simple tell-a-tale about my life and times.

To most of the people who know me well (including my own self), I’m quite an organized person. To me, being organized goes with being systematic and as far as I can, getting everything planned in advance. Planning is an element that has the effect of making things extra special. It has surprised me with many benefits in not just planning things but executing them as well. Here’s how!

First things first: When I plan, I tend to prioritize things. Every task comes with a deadline and I find planning to be an excellent way of doing things in the right order. Prioritizing events and activities puts me in a frame of mind where I know what needs to be done first and what comes last. Start with maintaining a journal and Go retro; keep a pen, paper, and a calendar handy all the time.

Do not delay things to their due day: I make a list of all the things that need to be completed in the coming days, weeks, or may be months like buying birthday presents for friends, paying monthly bills, shopping for a forthcoming family event, etc. As and when I find something interesting to gift to my friends, family, or my niece, I just pick it up. I gift these thoughtfully chosen articles on the right occasions to each of them. Similarly, whenever I am close to the place where I generally pay my bills, I make the payment even if it is long before the due date.

Before you leave the house, give yourself a minute. Think about every miscellaneous job that you can do on your way and follow a designated route for that.

The idea is to finish all those jobs that can be completed before time. This way I save time, I save money (by not feeling forced to choose whatever is available due to time constraint), and feel relaxed to see a to-do-job being deleted from the list. Yayyyy...

Prevent anxiety attacks: I tend to avoid more than 95% of crisis situations by staying organized with my work and my life in general. Everybody has his own way of accomplishing things. I prefer to do any task in stages if that is possible. I start with jobs that are most difficult, boring, monotonous, but still, very important. While planning, I assign a date to every task in accordance to its priority and then complete it within the deadline.

It allows me to be creative with my time: Another interesting way of finding good amount of time to relax and unwind even on fully packed working days is by doing bits of work on non-working days. Although I strictly stay away from work on weekends and holidays but when I’m bored or get free time, I tend to complete some easy tasks. A few small tasks combined together offer bonus time to enjoy a long walk followed by a hot cup of tea early in the evening.

Let’s face it! Planning is a way of life and does not apply to just office work or routine household chores. It applies to each and everything that I do from getting up in the morning till I lay my head on the pillow in the night.

It’s not easy to apply especially for someone who has not been doing it as a practice. But believe me; it only takes some discipline and practice on a regular basis. Try it and you will achieve it.

Why I Love to Get Up Early in the Morning

If you are typically a “night person” who hates to get up early every day and that works well for you, I think it’s great! There’s no reason to change your lifestyle, especially if you’re happy with it. But for me, getting up early in the morning is a blessing. It has helped me become a better person in so many ways that I can never imagine.

There are many things that motivate me to rise early. I'd like to share a few of them with you.

The early morning hours are so quiet and peaceful: It’s my favorite time of day. I truly enjoy that time to myself, when I can think, when I can breathe, when I can dream. Mornings are the most productive time of day; at least for me. I do all my work that requires me to concentrate and pay attention to just work. There are no distractions; no cars, no television noise, no phone calls, and no door bells to answer.

Since I can get so much more done by starting on my work in the morning, when evening rolls around, I am free to spend time with family.

Best time to pray and say thanks for all the blessings: Isn't it strange that no matter how busy you are, you somehow find time to eat, sleep, work, go shopping, meet friends but hardly find any time to pray. Mornings allow you to connect with your inner self and offer gratitude to Him for even the simplest things that make your life worth living.

Mornings offer time to plan the day: Starting my day with extra time to plan it relieves most of my stress. I have experienced that a day well spent brings with it a sense of satisfaction that goes with me to the bed, hence assuring a sound sleep.

First meal of the day; Eat like a king: I’m told that breakfast is one of the most important meals of the day. When you have sufficient time for a good breakfast, your body is saved from consuming all the unhealthy stuff that you can lay your hands on the way to work, or at your work station. Also, when you eat breakfast while reading an interesting book or follow it up with a nice cup of coffee, it is even more enjoyable.

How important is exercise to you: I know and strongly feel that exercising right after work is very enjoyable and distressing but I’ve seen that it is more likely to be cancelled in the evening because of many activities that come up. An exercise regimen for the morning is however cancelled.

Just like I did, you too can discover your motivation to get up early. Like everything else in life, one needs some kind of motivation too to rise early in the morning. I love to have my morning tea in solitude, enjoying every sip of it, and thinking only about how good it tastes. I also like to write in the morning, so that’s another reason.

For me, an amazing end to the day is when you have been able to do some good work. The feeling of satisfaction and contentment that you get as you lie down and close your eyes is immense and cannot be compared to any other thing.

Having said that, I know it’s not easy for most of us to get up in time but I’ll be happy to share with you some simple but tried and tested formulas to make an easy shift...till then; Happy Sleeping!

Each Year I Wish...

Only two and half months left and year 2010 will be gone. It’s safe to say that this time around most of us have already lost focus of the resolutions that we had made for this year; a habit to break, a new skill to learn, a friend to meet, a career goal to achieve, or a broken heart to heal.

I can understand that it's always difficult to keep your eye on the ball for the entire year, but what is more challenging is to know what resolutions to make. We resolve to spend more time with family & friends, fitness, quit smoking, enjoy life more, cut down on wasteful expenditure save more, help others, get organized, etc. Anything in the list above is not a daunting task nor does it require you to place it on the top of your priority list. But even then we fail to achieve the smallest bit of it. Have you ever wondered why?

Let’s face it! We tend to see our resolutions as a problem that needs to be worked upon rather than a new and innovative activity that will bring fun, amusement, and a good change to our everyday life. When we do that, it looks like a tough job. You need time, attention, and effort to execute it and that too, on a daily basis. But only if you take it as an exciting opportunity to reach your goals while having loads of fun, you’ll look forward to doing it every day.

Let me give you an example. This is another one in the list of my “Moments of Truth”. Last year on my birthday, I got a careless hint to start working out to look and feel fit and energetic. Although the idea was wrapped in loads of compliments, pleasant wishes, beautiful greetings, and accompanied with wonderful gifts, it struck me right where it was meant to be; my heart, body, mind, and soul.

I silently made a resolve to myself and thanked this person for having triggered this dormant feeling inside me. I always wanted to do it but never felt motivated enough to do it. Don’t ask me why! Some activities seem more worthwhile than others so at that time I just resolved to exercise; not attaching it to the objectives like losing weight or becoming lean, doing it 2 hours at least, or following a strict diet and surprisingly, the whole thing took off very well.

I started exercising (brisk walking, stair climbing, doing stretching exercises and sun salutations) whenever and whatever be the time; sometimes 60 minutes or on someday just 20 minutes; at times 5 days a week and on occasions just twice a week. But it did not stop.

I have experienced that the starting point to being successful at achieving anything in life, including resolutions, is your expectations. I just trained my mind to work out notwithstanding the time and form of exercise. All other things like weight/ inch loss; diet consciousness, healthy eating, and sound sleep soon followed it.

The best part is that it gives me a chance to catch up on my favourite music and enjoy long brisk walks, thus disconnecting me from work stress. For me the trick is to look at the positive side of any activity rather than forcing myself to do something that bothers me. For instance; the idea of buying a one-year contract at the fitness centre in the hope that it will somehow drag me to the gym is an absolute no-no for me!

As I know it, resolutions provide us with an opportunity to assess our progress in life, which any day is not a bad deal. They cheer up our lives with exciting challenges and wonderful experiences to anticipate.

So the next time you promise something to yourself, think about it; just because you have never considered New Year or Birthday Resolutions as a wonderful means for creating new and exciting outcomes, doesn't mean it's too late to get into action.

And let me tell you that I have already committed myself to another interesting resolution that’ll translate my hopes into achieving one of the biggest goals of my life --- by December 31, 2010?

Thanks to my buddy, the past year has turned out to be the most amazing year of my life. So far So good!

Manage Time Manage Your Life

Managing time is by far the most complex thing in managing our life. All of us have access to many valuable resources but nothing is more important than time. Its effective organization requires us to identify and develop our core strength. If we manage your time carefully and strategically, we achieve almost anything in life.

It’s true that one's, personal or professional, increases greatly with the optimum utilization of time.

Let us start with a few things that we all know are extremely important but still blame the shortage of time for not doing them. For instance; the world today is raving about health, fitness, diet foods, weight related diseases, and the like. But how many of us work out daily, do we watch what we eat, how regular are we when it comes to routine health check-ups, or make an effort to find time to meditate, practice one or two stress relieving exercises? Very few. Let's face it! We hardly make any appointments with our kids, spouses, parents, siblings and friends and hope to see them whenever it is convenient.

Sparing some time for the loved ones is not at all difficult. All we need to realize is the importance of planning a small get together and marking the date in the calendar.Not only will it be a constant reminder of the good times ahead but will also take half the stress out of our lifestyle. To do this, we need to train our minds to adopt this practice of planning things and develop it into a lifelong habit.

Give yourself time, and you’ll be able to do it. Once you’ve gotten into the mode of planning your day in advance, you’ll help yourself in more than one ways. Every morning you’ll have a comprehensive plan ready to implement and reach your goals.

In the following days I’ll share with you some simple tips and techniques that will help you manage your time wisely thus making you more productive.

Laughter is the Honey of Life

I honestly believe that a sense of humor can make the difference between running the rat race and easing down the road.

Like appreciation, you can always find something to laugh at. We’ve always been told that 'Laughter is the best medicine’, but don’t you think there's something more to a good chuckle than just raising our spirits for a couple of minutes.

Let’s start with a very sensitive issue with most people today; WEIGHT! Did you know that a hearty giggle raises the heart rate and speeds up the metabolism? Have you heard the phrase 'my sides ache' after laughing too much? Well, then you shouldn’t be surprised. A good belly laugh exercises the diaphragm, and contracts the abdominal muscles along with working out the shoulders, therefore making you feel a lot more relaxed.

As a matter of fact, laughing 100 times is as good as spending 10 minutes on the rowing machine or 15 minutes on a stationary bike. So go ahead and laugh the extra calories off.

Laughter is as much about social relationships as it is about wittiness. If you can make people around you laugh out loud, you're likely to have a good circle of friends. People love to be with someone who can make them cheerful. Also, you're likely to improve your productivity at work. Better communication, a good sense of humor helps you to become a team player in no time because most things we laugh at aren't necessarily jokes, but comments in everyday conversation.

We know that everything is funny as long as it is happening to “someone else”; TRUE! But it is also very healthy to laugh often at your own self. It has many benefits. For example; if someone makes a stingy remark on you, your outfit, your views, or your work, make a joke out of it and be the first to laugh at it. It’ll not only disarm him/ her but will also save you from getting into an argument.

Life is too short and so is time. Stop worrying about every small thing in life and start enjoying every single moment bestowed upon you.